Today I want to begin to introduce you to the team of women who design, create, implement, administrate, manage, and advise this blog we call He Speaks In The Silence. These are women who pray, asking God for wisdom, then use their gifts to craft beauty for all of us. And I think you need to know them!
So… for the next many weeks we’ll be posting a fun profile of who they are, what they do, what they love, who they love, how they live and lots more delicious details.
If you want to take a peak at the list of questions we all got to choose from, here it is.
From my heart,
Diane
ELYSSA DONE
I Live in:
Our new state…North Carolina! And loving it!!
I contribute to the blog by:
Helping to spread the word – to invite more people into this incredible community.
My favorite Portland spots are:
The multitude of incredible bakeries.
Forest Park.
Powell’s.
One of my life scriptures is:And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!
Ephesians 3:17-20
On a perfect day, I would:
Go exploring in a new city with my husband and daughter. There would be sunshine, coffee, a bakery, an old bookstore, walking, laughter and beauty.
When I was young, I wanted to grow up and be:
A pastor’s wife!
My husband, Dominic, was a missionary when we met – but he unexpectedly became the teaching pastor of our church in Maui just two years after we were married. We lived there for 8 years, then England for 2, then Portland for 1…and now we’re in North Carolina! Solid Rock recently sent us out with amazing support, to help plant a new church in the Raleigh/Durham/Triangle area. We started on September 8th with a fantastic team of people who moved all the way across the country to help serve. It has been such a fun adventure and so amazing to already be surrounded by such a fantastic community of Christ followers. We so appreciate your prayers for Emmaus – for wisdom about how to reach our city - that we would build authentic and deep relationships with our neighbors and co-workers - and for insight about how to best love and serve the people of North Carolina!
If I could spend a year anywhere in the world, I would go to:
England. We’ve lived there twice and my husband grew up there. It’s a beautiful country, full of quirky customs and fascinating history…and the accents…are epic.
The next big challenge I'm tackling is:
Finding my way around our new city.
The iPhone app I wouldn't want to live without is:
Google Maps…see previous question...
One of the people in the Bible I most admire/relate to is:
Sarah. Her faith was weak – she laughed at God’s promise of a son. Yet He was so gracious to her and gave her more than she deserved.
God is so incredibly gracious with me. I doubt often, but He continues to give me so much more than I could ask, think or imagine.
My mission is:
To deeply love and serve my family as well as the beautiful people we are surrounded by in North Carolina.
Do not let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated).
You believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely on God;
believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely also on Me.
In My Father’s house there are many dwelling places (homes).
If it were not so, I would have told you;
for I am going away to prepare a place for you.
John 14:1-2
Amplified Bible
I sit, like I have on so many days, overlooking the roofs of my near neighbors to the countryside a few miles away. A line of trees marks the Tualatin River in the distance where fog rises from the dampness of the marshes and rich planting fields that follow it’s winding way.
My mornings on the back deck are numbered now. Summer is burning itself out in a final blaze of over-heated days. Rain is coming.
And we’re moving.
We have lived in this home for 11 years. Through Matt’s teenage years and my daughter’s weddings. It’s the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere. We chose this particular house because of its basement— light filled and spacious, it seemed the perfect place for Phil’s widowed mom to come live with us.
But that didn’t last all that long. After several months she decided to move back to California, her home of half a century. And now she’s gone, waiting in the presence of Jesus for when He comes back with that perfect city and all the houses He’s been preparing for each of us.
We’ve rattled around in this big house, just the two of us, for the past year, talking about moving, wondering where and how in the world to pack two decades of stuff and too many decades of memories saved. With all the nooks and crannies and extra rooms in this behemoth I’ve simply boxed everything neatly and not thrown much of anything away.
My day of reckoning is here.
We’ve bought what is nicely named a “fixer-upper” in a quaint suburban town on the outskirts of the city. One-third the size of this house… but with a big backyard and the small town feel I long for. It’s a cottage- or will be when we get through changing and rearranging and adding charm to what actually is an ugly house with not much built-in potential.
And girls, I keep comparing myself to that house. It’s ugly and so am I. Run down, with no inherent charm. Tight and cramped, dark and plain.
And then Jesus bought us back from the owner who’d treated us badly. And He stepped back and saw beauty in us— saw how our contrariness could be turned into something quaint and cozy… saw what no one else could see.
So He got out His toolbox and went to work.
Changing us.
Sometimes hammering hard, other times sawing off areas that stick out too far and hurt innocent people passing by. He sands and smoothes, rearranges and repaints. Making a beautiful place to come home to, a place of welcome and respite.
And we don’t much like the process, do we? We complain and worry and wonder what in the world He’s doing. We don’t like our ugly places but we’ve grown used to them. We’re comfortable in our cramped quarters, threatened by change.
But dear girls, just like I see something possible in this ugly little house we’re buying, He sees beauty in who He knows you almost are.
He sees a welcoming cottage He can use to welcome weary souls, a place of refuge and delight. He sees the beauty of who you could be, of who He can make you.
In the months ahead I’ll send you pictures of our new/old home. I’ll invite you in for tea once the smells of cat food and over-use go away. This is a project, for sure, but so are you and I. And though part of me dreads the hard work, there’s this other part of me that sees potential… in the house… and in each of us as well.
From my heart,
Diane
Today I want to begin to introduce you to the team of women who design, create, implement, administrate, manage, and advise this blog we call He Speaks In The Silence. These are women who pray, asking God for wisdom, then use their gifts to craft beauty for all of us. And I think you need to know them!
So… for the next many weeks we’ll be posting a fun profile of who they are, what they do, what they love, who they love, how they live and lots more delicious details.
If you want to take a peak at the list of questions we all got to choose from, here it is.
From my heart,
Diane
ELIZABETH MOSSER
I live in:
Bethany... a few miles from downtown and close enough to the country that I can buy produce right from the farms.
I contribute to the blog by:
Creative director/the Kitchen/advisor.
When the blog first began it was just my mom (Diane) and I behind the scenes. Mostly going on long walks and dreaming up ideas. As it's grown, we've had the privilege of adding a handful of delightful and talented women who all contribute their unique gifts and create beauty and add wisdom for all the readers to see. I help manage that team and manage what visually happens on the pages of the blog.
One of my life scriptures is:
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."
John 15: 1-4
A beautiful reminder that we can do nothing apart from the Father. We must remain connected to the source in order to grow and be filled with life.
One of my most unexpected hobbies/interests/habits is:
Running. My love of running started about 10 years ago and has only grown each year. I'm a true introvert at heart and going on a run early in the morning while my kids are still deep in their dreams, listening to music about Jesus and watching the world wake up is refreshing to my soul. I'm telling you... once you have the running bug you are infected for life!
The person who has had the biggest influence on me is:
My mom... and I'm not just saying that because this is her blog!
My mom has modeled for me what it tangibly looks like to serve Jesus all the days of her life. She has a intimacy with her Father that is unmatched and inspiring. My most vivid memory growing up is walking down the stairs every morning and seeing mom with her bible and journal on her lap, quietly waiting for Jesus to speak. Every single morning she found her source of strength in Jesus. That picture will forever be etched in my heart and mind.
She raised me with intentionality and let me go with intentionality when the time was right. Because of that, we have a true friendship. She is the source I go to when I need wisdom, she has helped shape how I parent my two little ones, and she is my favorite person to go shopping and get pedicures with. She loves my husband like he is her own son and pours all that she is into Duke and Scarlet. She is not perfect, but she walks closely with Jesus and the wisdom she pours out on this blog comes from His heart.
My favorite Portland spots are:
Forest Park... endless trails for running and hiking and strikingly beautiful!
Portobello... my favorite restaurant of all time. It's a vegan restaurant but I promise it will not disappoint!
Slappy Cakes... a super fun spot for a family brunch and they grow their own veggies for their dishes in their own backyard.
When I was young, I wanted to grow up and be:
A flight attendant and a police officer... but by about age 10 I decided I wanted to be a wife and a mom. I am thrilled to say that my little girl dreams came true and I get to be just that.
My favorite thing in my home is:
My vita-mix blender. I know, I know a blender. But it is pretty awesome.
One thing I want every women to know is:
Live today because today is where God is. If you're anything like me, you look past today and jump ahead to tomorrow. Before you know it you miss today and your mind fills with worries, to do lists, I should's and what ifs. What if we lived each moment, each hour, fully present and surrendered to Christ? Leaving yesterday behind, surrendering tomorrow and living today. I want to learn to live that way.
Where you can find me:
Instagram: emosser
Email: emosser@ajesuschurch.org
This morning I read these words and I can’t get them out of my head…
“Happy is the person who finds wisdom and gains understanding…
She will guide you down delightful paths;
all her ways are satisfying.
Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her;
happy are those who hold her tightly…
My child, don’t lose sight of good planning and insight… for the LORD is your security...
seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths.”
(excerpts from Proverbs 3 NLT)
When we stress out and burn out, find ourselves uptight and unhappy, cranky and short tempered, is it because we are driven too fast through the blur of jam-packed days by the tyranny of the urgent? Blundering through our days with our ever present to-do list gripped tight in sweaty palms?
And then we wonder why we’re not happy… or satisfied… or delighted.
What if instead, we stopped to ask Him to direct our paths? And then listened for as long as it took to hear what He says…
What if we refused to rush? Walking with God all day long at the pace He sets for each step…
Wanna try it with me today?
From my heart,
Diane
Dear girls,
In this series we’ve entitled, He’s Not Your Prince Charming, we have been talking about two main themes:
- That only Jesus can and will satisfy your deep and ongoing need to be fully loved and satisfied.
- That He, in return, asks you to pour that love of His onto your husband relationally, sexually, emotionally, and spiritually.
All this talk, as of late, about loving our men sexually has brought up a whole lot of reasons why that is not always easy. The sheer vulnerability, which open, unfettered sexual expression presupposes, requires so much from a woman. Trust, acceptance, respect, affection, and an effort to give ourselves to a man who is not always what we wish he’d be.
But there is another element of this kind of husband-loving and what impedes us that keeps coming up in your emails and comments and messages to me.
Forgiveness.
Your need to forgive him for the hurts he has caused… and your need to forgive yourself for your past failures.
And so, for the next couple of weeks I plan to address these issues because I think its time we all moved past the resentment that makes us crabby and cranky and cold to our men.
And because this is a conversation and I’m sitting outside a coffee shop with a lovely, foamy cappuccino by my side while we “talk”, I need to prepare you for the messiness of these kinds of dialogues. We are women, after all, and hold a certain right to go off on rabbit trails to topics we deem relevant to whatever it is we’re trying to say. Just sayin’.
For today though, I’ll simply tell you a story…
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. (Isn’t that just the best way to start any story?)
This princess had everything she needed. Castles and riches and luxury and freedom to become more and more beautiful every day. Her future stretched out before her in one long litany of hope.
Her life would be good, great. She would live forever in this place of continual delight and hope.
This princess was an exceedingly generous person. Every day she doled out gifts to her servants, sprinkling fairy dust doses of good will and help to everyone she encountered.
One day she discovered that her most trusted manager had been swindling her. Millions of dollars were missing and the evidence pointed unequivocally to this man. She was shocked. Angry. Hurt. Feelings of betrayal and unbelief swept over her. She had trusted him, believed in him, been generous with him.
The man was promptly brought to justice, cast from her presence and imprisoned in the darkest dungeon. Perhaps if she never had to see him again, she would come free of the terrible pain he had caused her by his disloyalty.
Then one day, she received an urgent message. “Please, please, forgive me for my terrible folly,” the man wrote with shaky hand. “I cannot live in this place a moment longer, have mercy on me— I promise I will repay you every penny!”
After much soul searching, the princess agreed to set him free from that dark place of shame, knowing there was no possible way he could ever repay her for the harm he’d done. Out of the generosity of her heart, she chose to forgive the man and release him from the debt he owed.
That very day, the prisoner was set free. Breathing deeply of the fresh air, soaking in the sunshine, he danced for the joy of his unexpected, undeserved freedom. He’d been given a second chance and he was determined to succeed.
Coming down the walkway toward him, he spotted a lowly messenger boy he’d once lent a little bit of money. “Ah ha!” he murmured, “Here’s my ticket to a new start.”
Taking the surprised boy by the neck, he shook him hard. “You owe me money! Give it now, this instant! Or I will have you thrown in the debtor’s prison where you will rot until you pay me back.”
As happens in a small kingdom like the one she ruled, word of this encounter soon got back to the princess. Her heart fell, grief welling once again to the surface.
How could he, forgiven of so much, fail to forgive so small a debt?
Justice for the man’s terrible injustice required that the princess revoke the man’s pardon immediately. She sent him back to the darkness where he would wallow alone in his own bitterness.
(You can read the real story, told by Jesus to his crabby and competing and conflict riddled disciples in Matthew 18)
Every time I read that story I realize again how much forgiving real-life love requires.
All those bumps and bruises that happen as we figure out how to do life together.
All the disappointments when one of us isn’t there for the other in the way we need.
All those loose words that come rushing out of hidden places, cutting and saying and hurting deep.
Each hurt must be looked at honestly and forgiven thoroughly or else we end up stuffing our insides full of hostility.
The only possible way to forgive every one of those hurts is to fully embrace the forgiveness offered by Jesus and then to choose with a heroic act of our will to forgive for His sake.
Make believe doesn’t work here girls. You can’t pretend he didn’t mean it or it doesn’t hurt or you’re not mad. That’s just stuffing it and as we all know, that ugliness has a way of either seeping out of our pours or blowing up in our faces.
And making excuses isn’t effective in the long run. He’s tired, pressured, stressed… but that can only go on for so long and then what?
A bitter, hardened attitude can set in when there’s always a reason for his bad mood or his failure to love well once again.
Neither does it work to choke him until he “gets it” and turns into a charming prince full of golden words and deeds all for you. Correcting and reminding and calling him on every slip will turn you into a nagging crab in no time.
Only forgiveness heals the hurt. Daily, weekly, hourly, moment-by-moment forgiving the man for being so unfailingly human. That’s what God gives you and me. And that’s what He asks us in turn to give our men.
If you want to have a really great friendship with this man for years and decades until “death do us part”, you’re going to have to learn the art of forgiving and giving grace.
Next week I’ll be giving you some treasures from my long time mentor, Muriel Cook. This is a woman who shines with love for her husband, Norm. For now, I’ll just leave you with a snatch of her wisdom to think about this week:
“I’ve learned that a lack of forgiveness is the root of most problems. In almost every problem situation, after peeling off the layers of grief and distress, I find a wounded spirit or an unresolved resentment. Usually, it is the result of a hurt that hasn’t been dealt with or a pain that hasn’t been relinquished to God.” From Kitchen Table Counseling by Muriel Cook
From a heart still learning,
Diane
P.S. Do you have any questions about forgiveness that you’d like me to address? Or wisdom that works in this messy process of becoming a forgiving woman? Not the theory, so much, as the practical reality? We’re all needing whatever words you can give. Thank you!
Today I want to begin to introduce you to the team of women who design, create, implement, administrate, manage, and advise this blog we call He Speaks In The Silence. These are women who pray, asking God for wisdom, then use their gifts to craft beauty for all of us. And I think you need to know them!
So… for the next many weeks we’ll be posting a fun profile of who they are, what they do, what they love, who they love, how they live and lots more delicious details.
If you want to take a peak at the list of questions we all got to choose from, here it is.
From my heart,
Diane
KRISTI
I live in:
NW Portland – 5 blocks up from 23rd St. with 3 beautiful single ladies, Cristiana, Natalie, & Jaci.
I contribute to the blog by:
Mainly by proof reading and approving comments + a bit of editing
This year, God is revealing Himself to me as:
Revealer of Mysteries. There have been many moments with God this year where He’s “taking me away” and has spoken to me sweet kind words, His will, correction, and even funny hidden secrets about Himself. So fun! – Jeremiah 33v2-3 says, “…He who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it – the Lord is His name. Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” Such sweet times with Him this year!
My favorite Portland spots are:
Thai Herb – in Multnomah Village
Piazza Italia – in the Pearl
Sister’s Coffee Company – in the Pearl
Por Que No? – the one on Hawthorne Blvd
One of my life Scriptures is:
Revelations 22v1-2 “The angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb, down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.”
These verses bring me hope and peace. One day, all the nations will be provided with true holistic healing. One day, every creature will be freely given full refreshment. One day, death, pain, and suffering will be done away with – and we’ll enjoy uninterrupted peace, contentment, joy, and safety. Wanting to see glimpses of this in my life right now.
My DISC Test results and my top two love languages are:
I D – Inspirational
Acts of Service + Quality Time
The moment that God found me was:
When I was living in Siena, Italy! I was raised in a Christian home and saved at a young age, but my walk didn’t fully become my own until I was 19 and living in Italy for the summer. God. Found. Me. In. Italy. It was there that I first experienced a true deep love for His Word and responded by eating as much of it as I could as if I was going to starve without it! It was the first time I was away from everything familiar. So I clung to the only thing I knew, the Scriptures, and they were opened up to me in a new way I had never seen before. I fell in love with Him there, and I’m forever grateful. God swept me off my feet in Italy! What a sweet God we serve.
Something that I love to do every year is:
The Rodeo! Yee-haw!
One of my most unexpected hobbies/interests/habits is:
VOLLEYBALL – (for those of you that don’t know me, I’m 4’11, hence the “unexpected” part. Hey! I was a good setter in high school!
What I really want every woman to know is:
Dearest, you’re fully and completely loved by your Father, Yaweh. It’s that mind of ours that daily needs to be diligently renewed by His truth, am I right ladies?
“… but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2
Yesterday the iconic yellow school bus stopped outside our house, gathering up students in backpacks and new shoes. Trembling, eager, smiling, worried, both mothers and children couldn’t decide just how to feel about the start of a new school year.
But me? I couldn’t stop remembering. My children are all grown now, no new school books or yellow pencils clutter my counter. Somehow I thought this day would never come.
But just so you know I really was that mama, here are the words from my journal from long ago….
Today my little boy went off to school.
He was afraid. I was afraid.
He was excited. So was I.
He was brave. I cried.
We chattered cheerfully in the van on the way to school. He looked so fresh and grown-up in his new haircut, plaid shirt tucked neatly in, appropriately cool baggy pants and black suede tennis shoes. I took pictures in front of the flagpole.
He smiled.
Walking into the classroom, he gripped my hand in sweaty palm and sat oh-so-quietly at his pint-sized desk.
“Don’t leave yet Mom. Wait ‘til all the other parents go…”
I rubbed his back and labeled his supplies. Crayons, scissors, lots of glue, a binder covered in G. I. Joe stickers. I took a picture of my little boy at his desk.
No smile.
Time for Mom to leave. One last squeeze of his shoulder. One last kiss on his cheek, and out the door.
That’s when the tears betrayed me. Unbidden, they pushed against my eyes, threatening to embarrass me completely. Gulping them back, I waved with false cheer at a neighbor and drove in my empty van to my empty house.
So quiet.
No chaos, no arguments, no laughter, no messes.
I have looked forward to this day. I have plans. For years I have said, “When my children all go to school…”
Yet today I can do nothing.I grieve an end of an era. An era I have loved, filled with memories I cherish.
I did my share of complaining to be sure. “Can’t I even go to the bathroom alone?!” But I loved the unrushed mornings cuddling with blankie and bear and my squirmy little boy.
I loved the Lego creations and the storybooks and Wee Sing tapes. I loved sidewalk chalk and popsicles dribbling down dimpled chins. Rainy days spent building forts in the family room with blankets anchored with encyclopedias.
Most of all, I have loved the absolute trust in his eyes. He knows I am here for him to protect him, to be proud, to understand.
For I am Mom. Matthew’s mom. The Best-Mom-in-the-Whole-World.
That is who I was yesterday when I held him as a babe in my arms. It is who I am today as I leave him at his desk at school. And tomorrow, when he is a man, I will still be…
Mom.
From my heart,
Diane
Dear girls, Many years ago, God did a deep carving in my heart. He met me in a place of soul-churning anger and ugliness and despair. I was loosing my hearing and terrified of what my future might look like.
Just a few months before the real trial began, I had prayed earnestly that He would lead me to a place of satisfaction. I was a mom with 3 small children, a godly husband, a beautiful home— everything I’d ever wanted— and I wasn’t happy.
I didn’t know then what I know now— that rest and peace and real happiness are not found in a way of life. That only when I live curled up close to the Father’s heart, hid deep in Him, lost in the wonder of who He is and how He loves even me— only then am I satisfied.
In this series we’ve called He’s Not Your Prince Charming, I’ve been trying to paint a picture of a life of letting go of the things you think will make you happy— namely, that man who is supposed to ride into your life on a white steed and sweep you off your feet so that you will be happy forever— and grasp hold of the One who will.
And you’ve been listening, longing for more of Him.
I hear it in your comments and cries over relationships that aren’t what you wish them to be. In your uncomfortable attempts to settle into a skin that doesn’t fit.
I read the wonder as you begin to understand, to hold on tight to your real Lover.
For months now, my daughter, Elizabeth, and I have been talking about her own uncomfortableness. I’ve rambled on and on and prayed and listened and hoped… because words from mom are not enough to settle the longing inside.
My story is mine and her story is hers and sometimes I can’t say what I mean in a way even my own girl can understand… you know what I mean?
But He can. The One who calls Himself the Word, He spoke words to my daughter’s unrest a few mornings ago and she sent those words to me. And she’s so filled with hope and joy at what He said that she’s allowed me to pass it on to you.
May the One who is your Prince Charming speak to you through Elizabeth today…
Dissatisfied— the emotion that has made it’s way deep into my life and is pulsing through my veins.
I am slowly dying, drowning in a sea of not enough, not good enough, not perfect enough. Grasping at every quick fix possible to fill my lungs with one more breath.
A clean home… only to be marked by toddler fingers and little boy shoes.
A new outfit to make me feel pretty… only until I venture out again and my eyes see something better.
An experience… only be found empty when it doesn’t fill my lack.
Joy comes and goes like the morning fog; thick for a moment, then quickly lifted and replaced by rain.
How do I move from this running wheel of ups and downs? This silent killer of not enough?
I don’t.
My efforts are temporary at best but my Father’s are forever; for the now and not yet.
He said He is the vine. To grow and thrive and produce fruit, all I have to do is stay connected to the vine. To Him.
Nothing can sever me from that life-giving vine.
No wind.
No rain.
No heat.
No bad day.
No messy house.
No un-answered dream.
The two become one… the vine and the branch. The striving ceases and God’s design is set into motion.
“I am the vine, you are the branches; He who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5
Then the miracle of real life begins.
There is rest.
There is growth.
There is joy.
Joy that is not made by me… like a wind that touches my skin one moment and is gone the next.
Joy that is concrete. Unwavering in the big storms… and the small.
“These things I have spoken to you so that MY joy may be in you, and that YOUR joy may be made full” John 15:11
My joy. That thing I grasp at the clouds for until my fists can clench no more. That feeling I try to manufacture with all the tools I know… and am still found lacking.
It can be made FULL!
His joy in me makes my joy full.
No more searching. No more self helps. No more band-aids of temporary relief.
The real thing.
Joy.
Rest.
Satisfaction.
I choose His way today. And tomorrow and the next.
My joy is no longer missing— He has been found.
From a joy filled heart,
Elizabeth
Today I want to begin to introduce you to the team of women who design, create, implement, administrate, manage, and advise this blog we call He Speaks In The Silence. These are women who pray, asking God for wisdom, then use their gifts to craft beauty for all of us. And I think you need to know them!
So… for the next many weeks we’ll be posting a fun profile of who they are, what they do, what they love, who they love, how they live and lots more delicious details.
If you want to take a peak at the list of questions we all got to choose from, here it is.
From my heart,
Diane
FALLON LESSLER
I live in:
The Sunset Corridor, with my backyard being Tanasbourne Whole Foods. It’s simply amazing.
I contribute to the blog by:
Creative Advisor and a contributor for The Kitchen
My favorite Portland spots are:
Por Que No? Mexican food is the way to my heart!
One of my life scriptures is:
Philippians 4v8-9
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me – put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
My Myers-Briggs/Enneagram/love languages is/are:
ISFJ “The Nurturer”
On my perfect day, I would:
I would wake up go on a run with my husband, get a massage, and then adventure Downtown with my husband and eat good food.
The next big challenge I'm tackling is:
A half marathon in San Francisco. I’m so nervous. Pray for me!
The iPhone app I wouldn't want to live without is:
Nike Running. It’s my voiceless accountability partner to get in my weekly mileage!
The person who has had the biggest influence on me is:
My husband. He has taught me how to love people better, simply by watching him love people so well. He has taught be perseverance, by leading and pushing through circumstance that have been tough. And he has thought be how to extend grace by always extending it to me.
My lifestyle, in three words:
Adventurous, Full, Creative
Where you can find me:
Instagram: fklessler
Email: thelesslers@gmail.com
Just the other day I heard the words again…
“I want to read my Bible every day, I really do, but I’m just not disciplined…”
And this from a woman who works out and eats healthy and keeps her multi-tasking life in incredible order and her relationships in tack.
Not disciplined?
I don’t think so.
In fact, I think this highly disciplined woman, who wishes she was more consistent about poking her nose in the Word every day, is believing a lie about herself.
And she’s not alone. I hear it all the time.
I wish… but I don’t… because I’m undisciplined…
Discipline is not the problem.
Desire is!
And the reason the desire isn’t there is not because she’s bad or unspiritual or less-than-what-she-ought-to-be.
It’s because she doesn’t know what she’s missing.
Because if she had any idea how rich and full and satisfying— how need meeting and spirit-lifting this treasure filled time is— she’d never miss it.
And neither would you.
For the first decade or so of my spiritual journey of following after Jesus, I tried to discipline myself to read my Bible. And most of the time I was able to do it.
After all, Phil had led me that way from the beginning of our relationship. Every morning of our marriage I saw my husband get up in time to open the Word and spend anywhere from a few minutes to the better part of an hour systematically working his way from Genesis to Revelation.
But, frankly, I dreaded that discipline. It felt like getting up early to do homework. Not fun. Boring. Work.
Every once in a while something from the words I read reached out and grabbed my mind. But usually it was another’s words, some sort of devotional guide that spoke the loudest. I learned, yes, but I was far from thrilled with the process.
It wasn’t until I fell flat on my face in failure that the Word of God began to come alive for me. Faced with a shattered good-girl image, I became desperate for something more. Desperate to hear God speak to my failure, to show me how to live, what to do, how to sort through my unmanageable feelings.
Kind of like Job:
I had heard about You before,
But now I have seen You with my own eyes.
Job 42:5
NLT
And David:
I used to wander off
Until You disciplined me;
But now I closely follow Your word.
Psalm 119:67
And so my dear, disciplined friends, maybe what we really ought to be praying for is more desire. Asking God to wake us up every morning with the anticipation of a child at Christmas. Expecting God to speak to us, to feed us, to refresh and revive us.
Maybe we should pray that God will bring us to that place of desire as He did David. “ I desire You more than anything on earth.” (Ps, 73:25)
From my heart,
Diane
repost, Oct. 2013
Dear girls, Right now I am sitting in a coffee shop connected to a church in Santa Cruz, California. Phil and I taught our Intentional: raising passionate Jesus followers seminar at Vintage Faith Church this weekend and then Phil preached for their 3 gatherings on Sunday. Tomorrow we’ll hop in the car and start the long drive home. I’ve been away for more than 3 weeks (!) spending time with family and getting refreshed. It’s been a wonderful break but now I’m itching to get home and share with you all I’ve heard in my hours of quiet.
Ally Vesterfelt has graciously agreed to write this week’s post. I’ve known Ally since she was a little girl and have loved watching her grow into a uniquely gifted woman with a message. What she shares here about the reality of loneliness even in marriage is something all of us can relate to. Her honesty allows us once again to realize that He’s Not Your Prince Charming, propelling us to purposely cultivate our relationship with the One who is.
I love you girls! Back next week…
From my heart,
Diane
When I was twenty and single, the one thing I knew for sure about marriage was that, when I got married, I wouldn't be lonely.
The funny thing was, the older I got, the less lonely being single seemed. I had a dozen friends and an active social life. We were always dreaming and scheming up something — keeping ourselves busy with careers and trips and spontaneous rendezvous for happy hour. We would cry with each other and call each other at two in the morning sometimes and, before we knew it, we became like family.
We weren't husbands and wives, but we were men and women, doing life together, getting in-your-mess and in-your-face and learning to how to love until it hurt.
It was a really beautiful disaster most of the time, but we had built it. It was ours.
Of course, there were moments the loneliness would sink in.
I would be at a friend's wedding, watching her walk down the aisle (or watching him wait for his bride) and I would think about how things would never be the same again. Not that it was a bad thing. This was how it should be. Marriage changed things. I didn't really know how it did, I just knew it did.
In the moments single life seemed lonely, at least I had my family.
My parents didn't always agree with everything I thought or said or did, but by the time I was in my late twenties, I had hit a groove with them — a really lovely groove where we told each other things, and they wouldn't tell me what to do no matter how many times I begged them, but would always listen and hug me and tell me everything was going to be alright.
And my sister and brother, despite being different from me in many ways, shared comforting similarities like a the shape of my nose and color of my eyes, not to mention the inside jokes and a mutual understanding about how and when and how not to push each others buttons.You learn to function together in family. Even when your "function" is rather "dysfunctional" it is comforting.
Because you've built it, together.
Then, I met my husband, and we got married. And something very strange happened.
I lost all of that.
I gained something too, but I couldn't see what I gained without first recognizing what I lost.
I lost my friends.
In part this was the nature of our transition (we moved across the country) and in part it was because it's really difficult to merge two systems together — his system of friends, my system of friends. Each operated differently with its own unique rules and regulations, its own sensibilities about what is important, what is acceptable, and what is not.
And as much as I swore I would never be the kind of friend who stopped being a friend just because I got married — I found myself doing it. Because friendship is built on common ground and I wasn't sure what ground I was on anymore. I was building something new now, and I wasn't sure how it all fit together.
I lost my family.
Not "lost" as in gone forever, but lost as in temporarily lost my footing, lost my sensibilities about what it looked like to be a sister or a daughter or a daughter-in-law now that I was married. Who was I supposed to go to when I had a problem? Who's side was I supposed to take when no one saw eye-to-eye?
It's hard to merge two families when you're trying to build your own.
So the first year of marriage felt lonely to me, not because my husband wasn't my friend, or because he didn't love me, or because I didn't love him, but because building is hard. And because we were starting from the bottom, and because I was building with someone who I had only known, and who had only known me, for a couple of months.
We're learning, more slowly than we'd like sometimes, what it looks like to bring pieces of me, and pieces of him, into this our thing we're building together.
This thing that is all ours.
We're learning that when one of us gets sick, or has a bad day, or gets their feelings hurt, there is only the other, cleaning up the mess or doing the dishes or digging deep or soothing bruised egos. After all, if we don't do it, no one else will.
No one else will build this for us.
We're learning that if we want something that suits us, that's big enough for both of us, for my values, and for his, big enough for both of our separate pasts, our separate friends, our separate families, or separate ideals — we have to build it. If we want a system that is functional and comfortable, and fits us, like a good pair of jeans, we have make it.
We can't get everything we want, all of the time.
But we're building something.
And the longer we're married, the less lonely it gets. We find our footing and invite people in and watch each other weave in and out of old and new seasons. And when I think about it, this isn't that different from before I was married. Anytime we're building, we're making difficult decisions, about what to keep and what to leave behind. And we're all responsible for what we're creating...
And when it seems most difficult is when we're making the most progress.
Are you married or single? Are you lonely?
Ally
Today I want to begin to introduce you to the team of women who design, create, implement, administrate, manage, and advise this blog we call He Speaks In The Silence. These are women who pray, asking God for wisdom, then use their gifts to craft beauty for all of us. And I think you need to know them!
So… for the next many weeks we’ll be posting a fun profile of who they are, what they do, what they love, who they love, how they live and lots more delicious details.
If you want to take a peak at the list of questions we all got to choose from, here it is.
From my heart,
Diane
JODI HUGHES
I live in:
NW Portland…Bethany/Oak Hills
How I contribute to the blog by:
Watching over things, my official title is project manager. I get the delightful task of watching our gifted young women show off their amazing talents and skills.
My Myers-Briggs/DISC/love languages are:
I’m a diSC; my love languages are Quality Time and Words of Affirmation; My Myers-Briggs is INTJ, what does that mean…for some fun do a Google search and learn about the 10 Myths About Introverts and famous INTJ’s.
This year God is revealing himself to me as:
Faithful… I’ve known Jesus for 57 years and I’m still learning new ways to appreciate how His love and care and power is trustworthy and always good. I’m still learning that there will always be new things to trust him for; the most current new thing is growing old single. Gaining deeper trust is not always easy, but it’s very good for me.
The person who has had the biggest influence on me is:
My Dad. He’s with Jesus now. Our birthdays are one day apart so we would celebrate them together and we both loved it. My Dad’s love for me taught me about Jesus’ love for me. My Dad taught me to obey because it was right and good for me. And to put Jesus first because it was right and good for me. I was asked to give up cheerleading, friends, and many extracurricular activities because putting Jesus first was right and good for me. My Dad never made harsh demands (though I had no other options). He had a way of telling me that putting Jesus first is a privilege. My Dad, a preacher, lived what he believed and taught. I never ever saw him compromise his walk with Jesus. He never glossed over sin. My divorce broke his heart and he never condoned it, or any of my sins for that matter. He always stood his biblical ground and always forgave. My sins broke my Dad’s heart, just like my sin breaks my heavenly Father’s heart. My Dad still loved me, forgave me, and never turned his back on me, just like Jesus. My Dad taught me about true repentance, He helped convince me of Jesus unfailing love and forgiveness.
Something I love to do every year:
To take my granddaughter, Olivia, to the beach. It’s just me and Olivia and we do lots of fun kid stuff together. We jump waves, build sand castles, collect sea shells, eat pronto pups, ride carousels, feed the seals and pet the sea urchins, check out cheesy glittery touristy stuff, eat ice cream, take walks, do puzzles, read stories, and stay up late! We just finished our third annual Grandma/Olivia Beach Trip.
Three of my favorite books are:
The Secret Garden… I read that as a little girl and still love it.
Knowing God by J.I. Packer: I knew a lot about God. I met Jesus when I six. I was raised in a Christian home, went to Prairie Bible College and BIOLA. Then, 37 years ago, life turned upside down and the quick easy cliché answers didn’t work. I needed to really get to know God because it’s really difficult to trust someone you don’t know really well. This book started me on a journey of getting to know God that I’m still on today.
Speaking of Jesus by Carl Medearis: Once I was asked to share Jesus and the Gospel with someone. I opened my mouth to say something and couldn’t get any words out. I realized all of my words sounded more like a systematic theology textbook than someone with good news about Jesus. This book turned my thinking around and got me started reading the Gospels daily. I am still getting to know Jesus better and it’s an awesome ongoing journey. It’s an easy fun read I try to read it once a year.
My favorite question to ask people is:
“Please tell me your Jesus Story.” This question-in-a-statement takes people by surprise at times. However, I’ve learned that when they understand that I just want to listen and that I’m not asking for “right answers” or a “testimony” they relax and really enjoy sharing. Don’t we love to tell our on-going Jesus story? We just never get asked often.
Dear girls,
This morning I sit on the deck of my parent's home high in the Sierra's. It is beautiful here, so peaceful. Last week this place was brimming with Comers- 15 of us in all was we gathered to just enjoy being a family. What fun we had! And so many memories... Now I am relishing some rare time alone to write and ponder and read.
I've asked my friend, Danita Newell, to explain to us how she has cultivated her unique and enviable friendship with her husband, Todd. I've watched them now, for more than a decade- and what I see is friendship. Lots of laughter, Instagrams of road trips, Friday breakfasts out and about Portland, and a family that laughs a lot! You'll want to listen well here, girls, whether you're married or hope to be someday. This is what we all want and Danita is full of practiced wisdom about how to get there.
From my heart,
Diane
For better, for worse – for richer, for poorer – in sickness and in health.
We’ve all heard these words spoken at various weddings over the years. But do you ever wonder if the bride and groom are hearing what is really being said? After all, they are the “stars of the show,” the “main characters,” the “cake topper look alikes.” Could it be they are distracted by their audience? The paparazzi? Or even their very own stage presence? Maybe all they hear is... for better, for richer, in health.
Marriage is so much more than the fairy tale ending we dream of.
Actually the only perfect ending is a NEVER ending in eternity spent with the ultimate groom, Jesus Christ. That is for those who believe in Him……”For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). We give up our old ways to live as a new creation…..”If any man/woman be in Christ, he/she is a new creature. Old things are passed away. All things have become new” (2 Corinthians 5:17).
In relationships, including marriage, we take the ups with the downs. Friendships often start with a common ground – attending the same school, enjoying similar movies, laughing at the same thing even at the same time. These were the small things that later came to matter in my marriage. After 32 years of marriage, I’ve come to realize the value of friendship and the strength that comes with marrying your best friend.
You might ask, what does marrying your best friend look like? It is the constant effort toward putting their needs above your own. It is working together to solve problems, making decisions together, not giving up, willingness to do whatever it take to NOT repeat mistakes, having fun together, talking regularly, going places together, forgiving one another and moving forward. Marriage should look like friendship.
My husband and I met at college. We never knew the other existed until we were 19 years old. A mutual friend introduced us and wanted us to play in his band. We both loved music. I played the piano, he played the trumpet. This was the beginning of our common ground. Since we both had different career paths, we never had classes together. Therefore, band practice turned into a weekly rendezvous.
As friends, we enjoyed our time together. We talked and talked and discovered we both laughed at the same things. We began to watch for each other in the auditorium at the weekly chapel gatherings. This became another common ground in our relationship…..the importance of our faith. When you spend time with your friends you learn who you are and what is most important to you. This was a strong friendship that was becoming more focused on the potential of a lifetime together.
If you are not married but hope to be one day, I would encourage you to take the time to develop a friendship before romance. Allow yourself to get to know someone in all area while you are getting know who YOU are when you are with them.
Those of you who are married and feeling you’ve lost that friendship, or maybe never had it to begin with, it is not too late.
There is a familiar saying that mom’s repeat to their young children….”to have a friend you have to be a friend.”
There is truth to that. Are you treating your husband like you would your friends? Do you look forward to spending time with him? Do you get yourself “ready” to go out with him? Do you talk with him, get excited to hear his stories about his day? Are you able to be real, to cry, to laugh, to admit your failures?
If not, then it is time to start.
I have the privilege of partnering with my husband in ministry in pre marital and marital counseling. We have had training in biblical counseling and cling to the truth spoken in 2 Timothy 3:16 & 17…..”All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” In our hours spent with couples we repeatedly counsel the importance of spending time together. What does that look like practically?
Eat together without watching television, go to bed at the same time, talk to each other regularly, take vacation together. Learn from each other about each other. We see couples drift apart and realize the friendship aspect of their marriage has become secondary. They love each other but don’t like each other. We need to guard that. Protect that. Ensure it won’t happen. Then purposefully put forth effort in becoming friends and maintaining that friendship.
It is with words of encouragement that I remind you your hope of becoming the friend you need to be lies in your relationship with Jesus Christ. He has given us a helper, the Holy Spirit, who empowers us to do what we are called to do and that is to live a life that is pleasing to God.
“Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” (Hebrews 11:6)
Your friend,
Danita
Today I want to begin to introduce you to the team of women who design, create, implement, administrate, manage, and advise this blog we call He Speaks In The Silence. These are women who pray, asking God for wisdom, then use their gifts to craft beauty for all of us. And I think you need to know them!
So… for the next many weeks we’ll be posting a fun profile of who they are, what they do, what they love, who they love, how they live and lots more delicious details.
If you want to take a peak at the list of questions we all got to choose from, here it is.
From my heart,
Diane
MICHELE FORDICE
I live in:
The suburbs of NW Portland. A quaint little neighborhood called Terra Linda. Our little tri-level house was built in the 60s. The stairs squeak. The vents allow for eavesdropping. And the bathrooms are the size of postage stamps. I love every piece of it. As I sit in the living room—soaking up the morning sun and watching the neighbors wander by—I can’t help but imagine the lives that have passed through these doors. After pulling off three generations of contact paper from our linen closet, and reminding our boys that the laundry shoot is not meant for human transportation, I can tell these walls have many stories.
I contribute to the blog in:
An advisory role.
This year, God is revealing himself to me as:
The Living God. It has by no means been an easy year. I have had struggles. Frustrating days. Difficult weeks. I have cried out to know the Living God. Truly, deeply, genuinely cried out. I don’t want to just know about him, but know him as I know my husband. To walk with him as I am teaching my boys. To cry out to him when I am weary from saying, “Close the door behind you” or “Hands are not for hitting, but for loving.” To know him and his power as he transforms lives, including my own faithless heart at times. Let’s just say, I have much to learn.
One of my life scriptures:
Psalm 91: 1-2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadows of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.
My love languages are: quality time and words of affirmation...ok, maybe I like gifts too.
On my perfect day:
I would wake up to peaceful brothers playing, read a good book, get a massage and spend the evening with my husband...and go to sleep early!
Books I am reading right now:
Emerald Atlas (pre teener fiction), Love and Logic, Made to Crave and Beauty by the Book. Can you see why I never finish books?
When I was young, I wanted to grow up and be:
A missionary.
Something that I love to do every year is:
Address our Christmas cards. I have an ongoing list that I add to each year as the Lord brings new friends into our lives. In the chaos of the holiday schedules, this is one tradition that causes me to slow down and marvel at how blessed we are by incredible family and friends.
My favorite thing in my home is:
The original laundry shoot.
If I could spend a year anywhere in the world:
I would go to Italy and Greece. On our ‘SOME DAY LIST’, we’d love to home school our boys for a year, move to Italy, and travel all over the Mediterranean. Lots of hiking, sailing and EATING the most amazing food on earth! (I’m 100% Italian. Can you tell?)
The next big challenge I'm tackling is:
Making our new house our home. From new carpet, to paint, to garage doors…the list continues to grow. Pray for my dear husband! I am one constant vision…and he implements that vision.
My lifestyle, in three words:
Raw, eclectic, chaotic order.
What I really want every woman to know is:
If we were all really honest about the thoughts and dreams and feelings we think each day, we’d be surprised at how similar we really are. We all long to belong, to be valued and to be purposeful. And the enemy wants nothing more than to cause division, isolation and fear. When we recognize that those three things are not of God, we can fight back.
John 10v10 The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy, I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (NIV)
I don’t know about you but I am settling for nothing less than, FULL.
Can I get an AMEN?
Where you can find me:
Email me: bella.fordice@gmail.com
Follow me on instagram: michele_fordice