(PART ONE)
Dear Matthew,
Last week I wrote to you about that worry you have experienced more than once about whether or not you should pursue someone. My answer rambled on a bit in mom-like fashion, but at the end I promised that your dad would write this week with his ever-so-practical and always Biblical perspective.
What follows is a wise man’s advice to his wise son’s query about finding God’s will in the area of dating and marriage. I’ve actually split his letter in two so that you can think long and savor his wisdom.
One more thing: while you read this, take note of why I am still so in love with your dad. As I’ve said before, a woman’s love grows and deepens and expands along with her respect for a man. Pretty good reason, if you ask me, to stay hard on the path to wisdom as you follow close to Jesus and soak yourself in His Word.
I love you,
Mom
Dear Son... and other Dudes reading this,
First, I am so blessed to have a son who is seeking to know and do God’s will, and God’s will only! I believe God is eager to direct anyone who truly wants to be led by Him.
My advice is to begin by thanking Him that He answers prayer, and that He will show you the way you are to go!
One of the many favorite verses I go to myself, and share often with people seeking to know God’s will is Psalm 32v8. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.” Here the God who created the heavens and the earth, and who made you, promises to give you His private counsel. That’s both amazing and comforting.
As you know son, we must always look at Scripture in context so take a look at what the writer says just before in verse seven; “You are my hiding place. You preserve my soul from trouble; you surround me with songs of deliverance.”
As you hide yourself in God you can thank Him that He will protect you from making a mistake or going in the wrong direction.
Look at verse nine. As is common in Scripture, there are conditions to the promise. “Do not be as the horse or as the mule which have no understanding, whose trappings include bit and bridle to hold them in check, otherwise they will not come near to you.” In other words, as long as you don’t go running off like a wild horse who refuses to be tamed and led by its master---God will give you His counsel. To me, that brings great peace and great comfort!
Instead of saying, “God, I really like this girl so I’m going after her now. Please bless my plans!” Say, “God, I really like this girl— so I’m going to get to know her, and as I do, I thank You that You will reveal to me if she is right for me!”
Instead of saying, “Bless my plans…my will be done”.
Say, “God, show me Your plans…Your will be done”.
There is a huge difference.
While I do completely agree with your Mom that there are no two perfect people who form a perfect match who have a perfect marriage with zero issues to work out. I also know from experience and from the Scriptures that…God will be as involved in your life as you allow Him to be!
I believe your Mom, was the one God brought to me when I was searching, when I was praying, and when I was being careful not to make a mistake. In that very real way, ours is a ‘marriage made in heaven’. I still love her and I still think she’s beautiful after 35 years of marriage. This week marks our 36th Valentines Day celebration, and yes, I got her a present!
My advice son, is to begin by thanking God that…
1. He is leading you
2. He will protect you
3. He has promised to guide you
Now.. let His peace, which is subjective but very real, flood your heart and soul.
Love,
Dad
Next week more about how to determine if you should continue to pursue a particular girl.