This morning I read these words and I can’t get them out of my head…  

“Happy is the person who finds wisdom and gains understanding…

She will guide you down delightful paths;

all her ways are satisfying.

Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her;

happy are those who hold her tightly…

My child, don’t lose sight of good planning and insight… for the LORD is your security...

seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths.”

(excerpts from Proverbs 3 NLT)

When we stress out and burn out, find ourselves uptight and unhappy, cranky and short tempered, is it because we are driven too fast through the blur of jam-packed days by the tyranny of the urgent?  Blundering through our days with our ever present to-do list gripped tight in sweaty palms?

And then we wonder why we’re not happy… or satisfied… or delighted.

What if instead, we stopped to ask Him to direct our paths? And then listened for as long as it took to hear what He says…

What if we refused to rush? Walking with God all day long at the pace He sets for each step…

Wanna try it with me today?

From my heart,

Diane

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Yesterday the iconic yellow school bus stopped outside our house, gathering up students in backpacks and new shoes. Trembling, eager, smiling, worried, both mothers and children couldn’t decide just how to feel about the start of a new school year.

But me? I couldn’t stop remembering. My children are all grown now, no new school books or yellow pencils clutter my counter. Somehow I thought this day would never come.

But just so you know I really was that mama, here are the words from my journal from long ago….

Today my little boy went off to school.

He was afraid. I was afraid.

He was excited. So was I.

He was brave. I cried.

We chattered cheerfully in the van on the way to school.  He looked so fresh and grown-up in his new haircut, plaid shirt tucked neatly in, appropriately cool baggy pants and black suede tennis shoes.  I took pictures in front of the flagpole.

He smiled.

Walking into the classroom, he gripped my hand in sweaty palm and sat oh-so-quietly at his pint-sized desk.

“Don’t leave yet Mom.  Wait ‘til all the other parents go…”

I rubbed his back and labeled his supplies.  Crayons, scissors, lots of glue, a binder covered in G. I. Joe stickers.  I took a picture of my little boy at his desk.

No smile.

Time for Mom to leave.  One last squeeze of his shoulder.  One last kiss on his cheek, and out the door.

That’s when the tears betrayed me.  Unbidden, they pushed against my eyes, threatening to embarrass me completely.  Gulping them back, I waved with false cheer at a neighbor and drove in my empty van to my empty house.

So quiet.

No chaos, no arguments, no laughter, no messes.

I have looked forward to this day.  I have plans.  For years I have said, “When my children all go to school…”

Yet today I can do nothing.I grieve an end of an era.  An era I have loved, filled with memories I cherish.

I did my share of complaining to be sure. “Can’t I even go to the bathroom alone?!” But I loved the unrushed mornings cuddling with blankie and bear and my squirmy little boy.

I loved the Lego creations and the storybooks and Wee Sing tapes. I loved sidewalk chalk and popsicles dribbling down dimpled chins.  Rainy days spent building forts in the family room with blankets anchored with encyclopedias.

Most of all, I have loved the absolute trust in his eyes.  He knows I am here for him to protect him, to be proud, to understand.

For I am Mom.  Matthew’s mom.  The Best-Mom-in-the-Whole-World.

That is who I was yesterday when I held him as a babe in my arms.  It is who I am today as I leave him at his desk at school.  And tomorrow, when he is a man, I will still be…

Mom.

From my heart,

Diane

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Just the other day I heard the words again…

“I want to read my Bible every day, I really do, but I’m just not disciplined…”

And this from a woman who works out and eats healthy and keeps her multi-tasking life in incredible order and her relationships in tack.

Not disciplined?

I don’t think so.

In fact, I think this highly disciplined woman, who wishes she was more consistent about poking her nose in the Word every day, is believing a lie about herself.

And she’s not alone. I hear it all the time.

I wish… but I don’t… because I’m undisciplined…

Discipline is not the problem.

Desire is!

And the reason the desire isn’t there is not because she’s bad or unspiritual or less-than-what-she-ought-to-be.

It’s because she doesn’t know what she’s missing.

Because if she had any idea how rich and full and satisfying— how need meeting and spirit-lifting this treasure filled time is— she’d never miss it.

And neither would you.

For the first decade or so of my spiritual journey of following after Jesus, I tried to discipline myself to read my Bible. And most of the time I was able to do it.

After all, Phil had led me that way from the beginning of our relationship. Every morning of our marriage I saw my husband get up in time to open the Word and spend anywhere from a few minutes to the better part of an hour systematically working his way from Genesis to Revelation.

But, frankly, I dreaded that discipline. It felt like getting up early to do homework. Not fun. Boring. Work.

Every once in a while something from the words I read reached out and grabbed my mind. But usually it was another’s words, some sort of devotional guide that spoke the loudest. I learned, yes, but I was far from thrilled with the process.

It wasn’t until I fell flat on my face in failure that the Word of God began to come alive for me. Faced with a shattered good-girl image, I became desperate for something more. Desperate to hear God speak to my failure, to show me how to live, what to do, how to sort through my unmanageable feelings.

Kind of like Job:

I had heard about You before,

But now I have seen You with my own eyes.

Job 42:5

NLT

And David:

I used to wander off

Until You disciplined me;

But now I closely follow Your word.

Psalm 119:67

And so my dear, disciplined friends, maybe what we really ought to be praying for is more desire. Asking God to wake us up every morning with the anticipation of a child at Christmas. Expecting God to speak to us, to feed us, to refresh and revive us.

Maybe we should pray that God will bring us to that place of desire as He did David. “ I desire You more than anything on earth.” (Ps, 73:25)

From my heart,

Diane

repost, Oct. 2013 

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Let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God…

Hebrews 13:15

Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.

Colossians 3:16

Sing to Me.

I heard the words as if they were whispered in my dormant ear.

Me? Sing? But I can’t sing, can’t hear the tune to match my voice along the sounds that make a song. You know I’m not a singer, Lord. Deaf girls don’t sing.

Silence.

I’d been asking the Father why my walk with Him seemed dry and just a little off lately. I’d sensed a distance, a disconnect. By now I’ve delighted In His nearness for so many years that the nagging sense that my heart was growing tepid worried me.

What was wrong?

After turning the searchlight of His Word onto my daily life and asking Him to show me anywhere I might be messing up, drifting from His ways, I came up with a handful of not-so-obvious sins to confess: a little selfishness here, a critical tendency there, a good bit of laziness, my usual sin of self-indulgence.

Still the silence rang loud.

Until this morning, when I asked again.

Lord, what is up? What is wrong? I need You, need that closeness, that joy, that hope that rallies me out of my warm bed on a cold morning to meet You in that place I crave.

And that’s when I heard Him say it once more.

Sing to Me.

But Lord, please. I can’t sing.

At church I mostly fake it, or hide under the loudness and face away from anyone near. Sometimes I just stop and watch and pray and sing deep where no one hears. I raise my hands while those around me raise their voices.

Sing to Me, Di.

But Phil might hear. What would he think? I’ve tried singing on my walks but that’s embarrassing too. What must the neighbors think? A woman and her dog walking down the street singing hymns that sound like two-tone, out of tune meanderings of a mad woman. Please!

Just sing to Me, Di, I love when you sing. I love that sound of tuneless worship. Like Mary’s broken box of sweet perfume spilled on My feet, wiped with her mass of tangled hair.

Sing in the beauty of your brokenness, Di, and delight Me. Forget about anyone and everyone else.

Sing to Me.

And so I pulled on thick, warm socks, grabbed the green hymnal off the bookshelf—  the one I’d  learned so long ago to worship with— and headed down two flights of stairs to the basement. Huddled by the heater, wrapped in my favorite blanket, I opened to an old favorite.

Are ye able, said the Master,

To be crucified with Me?

Yea, the conquering Christians answered,

To the death we follow Thee.

And then that second verse, asking if I am able to remember the thief who lifted his face to Jesus to find his soul pardoned and invited into His presence.

And all I can remember is that one I cannot seem to thoroughly forgive. The one who doesn’t seem sorry enough for all the wounded  left in the wake of a selfish pursuit of  happiness.

Oh Father, forgive me for the stinginess of my grace. Who am I to hold a sin against someone when You do not?

I found myself singing it again and again, louder each time, more free and full than I’d felt in a long, long time.

Lord, we are able, our spirits are Thine,

Remold them, make us like Thee, divine…

Another hymn, louder.

Again and again, with increasing confidence.

Yes! This is what I want because this is what He wants.

My gift to Him. My off-kilter, broken, not-very-lovely gift is the one He cherishes most.

And suddenly it dawned on me, how Mary must have been embarrassed when she huddled at His feet, wiping them with her tears. How the misunderstanding of unmerciful men must have weighed heavy on her unwrapped head. Were her tears like mine?

The humiliation of obedience?

The spilling of what she’d held too tight?

The relief of letting go?

And what about David when he danced before God? Had God whispered to him like He did to me?

Strip off your royal robes, David, down to the plain tunic that hides nothing. Fling off your dignity and dance for Me.

I don’t know, but I do know that this hour I’ve spent singing has released something somewhere in my insides.

And I know I’ll be back.

Back to the basement, the old green hymnal open on my lap, singing my heart out.

What about you, my dear ones?

Is He asking something of you?

Something  surprising?

Something hard?

Something so laughably easy that you’re certain it couldn’t be all He wants?

Will you listen?

Will you sing?

From my heart, filled to overflowing,

Diane

repost: march 2013

I'm a sucker for anything containing cookie dough. So naturally when I saw Abi post these cookie dough balls on her blog, I knew they had to be shared with you all!

Plus... you won't even have to turn on your oven. If you are like me and don't have air conditioning this is a BIG plus.

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

CHOCOLATE COOKIE DOUGH BITES

You might be thinking "not another healthy "raw" cookie dough ball thing" and you're right, there's a million out there but I've been trying my hand at them for years and while most taste decent they just don't cut it for actually satisfying a real cookie dough craving.

But these were a game changer!

They were super simple to make, they use ingredients I always have and they actually taste like cookie dough, I promise!

(You can even ask my husband, he ate plenty of them).

I kept mine in the freezer which I would highly recommend, it doesn't get much better than frozen cookie dough. And yes, I guess some might not count these as healthy since they have some chocolate chips in it and use sweeteners (god forbid!) but they are loads healthier than the butter/sugar/brown sugar ones so that's good right? Plus the base is cashews which has protein which is enough to make it a health food in my book!

Abi

INGREDIENTS:

2/3 c raw cashews 1/3 c oats 1 Tbsp shredded coconut 2 Tbsp Agave 1 Tbsp Maple Syrup or Honey 1 tsp Vanilla Extract 1/4 c Chocolate Chips (Mini would look nicer but it all tastes the same...)

TO MAKE:

Blend the cashews and oats in a Vita-Mix, food processor, or high speed blender until they're a fine powder. Don't over-blend or you'll wind up with cashew butter very quickly.

Add the agave, maple, vanilla and blend until incorporated. Be careful to just blend in short bursts and only until combined; don't over-process. You know you have “The Right Consistency” of Dough when the dough starts to ball up like a tennis ball and bangs around from side to side in the canister.

Stir in the chocolate chips by hand.

Form into balls and store in freezer.

If dough is sticky, chilling it in the refrigerator or flash-chilling it in the freezer helps make it easier to form into balls.

[print_this]

CHOCOLATE COOKIE DOUGH BITES

INGREDIENTS:

2/3 c raw cashews 1/3 c oats 1 Tbsp shredded coconut 2 Tbsp Agave 1 Tbsp Maple Syrup or Honey 1 tsp Vanilla Extract 1/4 c Chocolate Chips (Mini would look nicer but it all tastes the same...)

TO MAKE:

Blend the cashews and oats in a Vita-Mix, food processor, or high speed blender until they're a fine powder. Don't over-blend or you'll wind up with cashew butter very quickly.

Add the agave, maple, vanilla and blend until incorporated. Be careful to just blend in short bursts and only until combined; don't over-process. You know you have “The Right Consistency” of Dough when the dough starts to ball up like a tennis ball and bangs around from side to side in the canister.

Stir in the chocolate chips by hand.

Form into balls and store in freezer.

If dough is sticky, chilling it in the refrigerator or flash-chilling it in the freezer helps make it easier to form into balls.

[/print_this]

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Our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives.

We are no longer slaves to sin.

For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.

Romans 6:6,7

NLT

I've been swimming since Sunday in the warm waters of Romans, chapter six. Dave Lomas, a friend of John Mark's preached a breath-taking message on what it means to be in Christ. One phrase has taken hold of my mind and just won't let go. He said,

Be who you are.

And by that he wasn't referring to 1990's pop-culture ads. He wasn't talking about individuality or giftedness or feel-good-about-yourself best sellers. He was talking about our identity- who I am.

Am I Diane, wife of Phil?

Or Diane, mother of John Mark? and Rebekah? and Elizabeth? and Matthew? Amma to five kids who love me  because I never say no?

Am I Diane, writer of a blog, teacher of women? Or am I Diane, cleaner of my house, cooker of meals, walker of my dog, Jackson?

Who am I really?

And this morning it dawns on me that  first and foremost I have chosen to be a slave of God. That is who I am- on purpose.

But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God.

Romans 6:22

NLT

So why in the world do I worry?  Written in my journal this morning are these words:

It strikes me this morning that all my tense worrying is ridiculous! Why would a slave worry? Or strive? Or fuss about not doing it good enough and now-no-one-will-want-to-read-it-and-oh-dear-I-don't-know-how-to-do-this...

 After all, as a slave of the Most High God, all I really need to do is check in with Him and make sure I'm doing what He wants. I don't have to be perfect- I'm a slave. I don't have to hurry- my Master is kind. I don't even have to prove myself- He liked me enough to buy me with His blood.

And that's why worrying is ridiculous. Because the truth about why I worry is this: I worry because I forget who I am.

I am accepted. Romans 8:1

I am loved. Romans 8:35-37

I am enough. Romans 8:15-17

I am forgiven. Romans 8:3

I am sought. Romans 8:30

I am free.  Romans 8:2

I am His. Romans 8:33

And so this morning I've rolled all my worries on my Master. I've let go control and asked Him for a chore list: What do You want me to do? Say? Write? 

I'm reveling in this rest that comes from letting Him lead me. Wondering why I keep slipping back into the old worrying-way. And I'm writing it down so I remember and so you remember... that all you and I really need to do is...

Be who you are.

From my heart,

Diane

repost from march 2013

I know I'm not the only worrying, fretting woman... how about you? What are you worried about? Dare you write it down and give it up? Dare you be who you really are? I'd love to know if you'd be willing to leave a comment.

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God has told his people, “Here is a place of rest; let the weary rest here. This is a place of quiet rest.”

Isaiah 28:12 

Remember the Sabbath…

Exodus 20:18

Fog wraps the morning in magic.  Shimmering like a woman’s gown, sheer as finest silk, it hides the world beyond the trees.

And I sit wrapped in warmth, watching the Artist create. Soaking in His beauty, soul filling with wonder.

What was it I was worried about?

All those frettings seem silly now. Petty, unimportant.

So what if I don’t get it done? Isn’t this more important? This watching, waiting, listening?

And so again this morning He speaks to me.

Hush, Di, I’m working. This is My world, not yours.

Just watch a while.

Listen in the silence.

Learn.

And so I choose rest today instead of striving, peace instead of churning, less instead of more.

I choose to notice God today. All day.

To stop all my fussing and just make space for Him in this cluttered soul of mine.To push aside the messiness of my needing to do more and allow my body and my mind and my imagination to simply stroll today.

I’ll walk through His woods, crunch leaves underfoot, breathe deeply, notice the faintest fragrance He leaves behind.

 I’ll sabbath.

From a heart needing rest,

Diane

repost: december 2013

I'm a Fall and Winter kind of girl through and through. I love the boots, the scarves, the rain, the cold...

But I've got to hand it to Summer when it comes to the food.

Fresh, colorful, crunchy, flavorful... Summer produce is my favorite.

I recently took a trip to the Beaverton Farmer's Market and couldn't stop buying fresh vegetables at every tent I walked into. I think I bought something from just about every farm in Oregon!

(some girls get giddy about shoes, I get ecstatic about veggies. Ok, and shoes too)

Today's recipe is a taste of just about everything you will see at your local farmer's market right now and I can't stop eating it. It can easily be adapted and tweaked to include what you have in your fridge and what suits your palate. It can be used as a main course, a side or a refreshing lunch.

If you haven't ventured out to a local farmer's market yet this summer, I highly recommend them!

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

PS: I hope you are enjoying the fresh food to easily available to us right now as I am and I'd love to hear what you've been making in your own kitchens. Leave me a comment or tag your latest creations on Instagram with #hespeaksthekitchen.

FARMER'S MARKET SALAD + CREAMY PARSLEY DRESSING

Serves 4-6

INGREDIENTS:

CREAMY PARSLEY DRESSING:

(adapted from this cookbook)

1 heaping cup of chopped parsley

¼ C olive oil

¼ C real mayonnaise or veganise

3 T apple cider vinegar

2 T water

1 T honey

½ tsp sea salt

¼ tsp pepper

 

FARMER'S MARKET SALAD:

2 hearts of romaine - chopped

2 big handfuls of arugula – roughly chopped

1 red bell pepper – sliced

2 big handfuls of shredded carrots

4 radishes – thinly sliced

½ C green onions – chopped

½ - 1 C cherry tomatoes – cut in half or quartered

 TO MAKE:

Combine all the creamy parsley dressing ingredients in a blender and blend until creamy.

Combine salad ingredients in a large bowl and toss with desired amount of dressing.

TO SERVE:

This can be enjoyed so many ways! Here are a few ideas...

Serve as a side for salmon or burgers. I have a few recipes on the site that would pair well with and you can find them in the recipe archive.

Toss with grilled chicken.

For a vegetarian option, add garbanzo beans.

Topped with fresh parmesan cheese for a fresh lunch.

[print_this]

Farmer’s Market Salad + Creamy Parsley Dressing

Serves 4-6

INGREDIENTS: 

Creamy Parsley Dressing:

(adapted from this cookbook)

1 heaping cup of chopped parsley

¼ C olive oil

¼ C real mayonnaise or veganise

3 T apple cider vinegar

2 T water

1 T honey

½ tsp sea salt

¼ tsp pepper

Farmer's Market Salad:

2 hearts of romaine - chopped

2 big handfuls of arugula – roughly chopped

1 red bell pepper – sliced

2 big handfuls of shredded carrots

4 radishes – thinly sliced

½ C green onions – chopped

½ - 1 C cherry tomatoes – cut in half or quartered

TO MAKE:

Combine all the creamy parsley dressing ingredients in a blender and blend until creamy.

Combine salad ingredients in a large bowl and toss with desired amount of dressing.

TO SERVE:

This can be enjoyed so many ways! Here are a few ideas...

Serve as a side for salmon or burgers. I have a few recipes on the site that would pair well with and you can find them in the recipe archive.

Toss with grilled chicken.

For a vegetarian option, add garbanzo beans.

Topped with fresh parmesan cheese for a fresh lunch. [/print_this]

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Fearing people is a dangerous trap,

But to trust the LORD means safety.

Proverbs 29:25

TRUST

Doesn’t it always come back to this?

To put my hand in His and let Him be the one to lead.

To trust His judgment.

And don’t we all struggle with just this?

This need to learn how to purposely choose to look at His face whenever I worry about what’s maybe right and what might be wrong?

To look to Him for approval instead of letting the approval of people be my guide?

Just a little while ago I was in Albania sitting across from a new friend, a woman being braver than most, willing to go against the grain that constrains the women there.

She told me about all those years when communism reigned and having nothing was normal— no beauty, no luxury, not enough food, not enough of anything.

And so women just cleaned. Because their homes were not pretty, they made sure they were clean. Cleaner than anyone else’s. Women mopped and shined and wiped meticulously, endlessly. And then they apologized for anything less than perfect and limited themselves, lest anyone see so much as a smudge.

And they’re still doing it now while working and buying and saving and educating and cooking the most delicious and time intensive meals I’d ever eaten.

And my friend has decided not to go along with that pressure. She won’t be defined by the hygienics of her shower.

She has stuff to do, important stuff. 

So she’s writing instead of scrubbing; children’s bible stories, a blog for young mothers, another for Albanian families, an online magazine. And she’s gathering women to study Scripture, to search for wisdom about raising their children in post-communist, still-atheist Albania.

Edi is my hero—she’s bold, she’s beautiful.

She’s safe.

And Edi has mastered something I’m just beginning to learn— that to fear God we women must deliberately ignore the disapproval of our sisters and mothers and magazines and friends.

We must choose instead to think long and hard, to ponder all alone just what it is that the LORD is asking of us.

To wear the clothes that fit, and toss out those wishful thinking styles that bind our souls too tight.

But how? Other than letting ourselves get all hard and cold and defiant, how in the world can we act on this?

Here’s my list for me…

1. To not try to do it all.
2. To tell the truth.
3. To be satisfied with who we are and then be free to enjoy our sisters who aren’t like us at all.
4. To do what only I can do and not try to do more.
5. To smile and have fun and hole up in quiet corners all by myself just because I crave that.
6. To wear glitter when grey is more the style.

I am learning… slowly. And so are you. We’ll get this eventually.

From my heart,

Diane

Isaiah 51:7… so much wisdom

repost from Nov. 2012 

Zucchini bread, stuffed zucchini, zucchini lasagna... is there anything zucchini can't do? Zucchini is an extremely versatile vegetable and my new favorite way to eat them is by making them into noodles.

Yes, noodles.

I know zucchini noodles may sound... well... not very good and a far cry from the real thing. But even my vegetable hating son will eat these and asked me if he can have them for his birthday breakfast.

(I think he still get's confused on what time of day the meal called 'breakfast' is eaten but I'll take it!)

They are the same texture as noodles and have a very mild taste so they take on the flavor of whatever you are cooking with. Zucchini is in season right now and available at just about any fruit stand in your area.

Not to mention it's cheap! Even buying it organic won't break the budget. 

Today's post is a simple, step by step on how to make zucchini noodles. I will refer back to it in the future with recipes to go along with the prepared noodles and you can use them anyway that you would normally prepare pasta.

ENJOY!

Elizabeth

PS: If you have any questions on how to prepare them, feel free to leave a comment and I'm happy to help!

HOW TO MAKE ZUCCHINI "NOODLES"

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

Zucchini (if you are serving it as a main course, I would recommend at least 2-3 per person)

Sea Salt

Julienne Peeler

Potato Peeler

*if you don't have a julienne peeler, a potato peeler will work. Although I highly recommend a julienne peeler because it will make you job super easy and create better noodles. They can be found at any kitchen store and some grocery stores for about $9.

STEP #1:

Wash and peel the green skin off the zucchini with the potato peeler.

STEP #2:

Hold on to the head of the zucchini and place the julienne peeler at the top of the zucchini. Gentle press down and drag the peeler to the end. You will instantly have a strip of noodles!

Repeat this until you get to the center and start to see seeds. Then flip it over and do the same thing on the other side of the zucchini.

STEP #3:

Preheat your oven to 200F.

Line a baking sheet (or two, depending on how much you are making) with paper towels and spread the noodles over the baking sheet evenly.

Sprinkle with sea salt.

STEP #4:

Place the baking sheet of noodles in the oven for 30 minutes. I promise the paper towels won't catch on fire!

This causes the noodles to "sweat" and release a lot of their water which will prevent your dish from becoming watery when you cook the noodles.

STEP #5:

Remove the baking sheets from the oven and let them cool for a few minutes.

Then, pick up the paper towels, wrap them around the noodles and squeeze out the liquid. You will be amazed at how much water you get out of them!

STEP #6:

At this point they are ready to cook whenever you are ready to eat them. You can saute them in your oil of choice for about 6-7 minutes or you can simmer them in a sauce and allow them to soften.

They are also good raw if you skip the oven process and turn them into a summer salad. Recipe for that coming soon!

A FEW MORE THINGS ABOUT THEM:

1. They can be prepped ahead of time and kept in the fridge until you are ready to cook them. They are a bit labor intensive so I like to prep them in the morning so dinner is quicker at night.

2. They do shrink down quite a bit when cooked, so make more then you think you will need.

3. They taste good as leftovers so make extra for lunch the next day!

ENJOY!