EARLY

“Come my children, and listen to Me, and I will teach you…”

Psalm 34:11 (NLT)

“My heart has heard You say, ‘Come and talk with Me.’ And my heart responds, “LORD, I am coming.”

Psalm 34:11 (NLT)

It is early as I sip slowly from my second cup of steaming tea. Snuggled warm beneath a thick blanket, I watch reluctant light illuminate a fog wrapped world.

Silent. Still. Beautiful.

I love these early quiet hours. Before the world awakes and needs arise. Time to think, and sip, and go slow.

In this early hour I am fully me. Not who I need to be. Not who I wish I could be. Just me, with all my complexities and worries and hopes and dreams and possibilities. Me.

And here in this safe place I meet God.

My Father. My Lord. My dearest Friend.

He beckons me here, urges me to this seat by the window. Surrounded by books and Bible, pad of paper and favorite pen, I think. And ponder. And sometimes I know things I never knew before. Things that tell the truth about my insides, about why I do what I do and say what I say. Why I drive myself too hard at certain times and drag my heels at others. Why my list burdens and bothers and why I can’t let it go.

Somehow, here, all tucked into His love, I’m okay with me. Because He is. In His presence I seem right. I fit. I think He likes me. I know He does.

This is where He speaks. Here in the quiet I hear…

“Shh, Di, quiet now… Listen… I’ve wisdom for that worry.

Do you want My way? Are you sure?

Because mine is the way of the Cross…”

Bible open now and heart all soft, my soul soaks in all He has to say. Wisdom words about respect and hope and anxiety and striving. About living life different.

Here He tells me to trust. To forgive. To stop struggling all the time and finally just let Him have His way- since after all, I’ve told Him again and again that’s what I want.

“Now do it, Di, and see Me part those waters while you walk that muddy ground right up the other side.”

In this warm wrapped moment I know I can. Because I know He will.

Because He always has and He always does and He’s always been. And His stories tell me He’ll never stop.

I read Esther’s worries and hear her growing faith. The courage of this girl snatched from home, captive to a king’s lust, called to risk it all for an ideal- she takes my breath away. All her life for this one moment?

Do I live like that? Like that hard thing is why I’m here? Like all my life is for now? Like I matter that much?

Suddenly, forgiving that one who hurt me, doesn’t seem so hard. Of course I do…because He does… because hurting my feelings is really not the end of the world… because loving her in all her normalness is what He wants from me…because He sees me so much better than I am and makes me so much better than I could ever hope to be… and I want to love her like He loves me.

Of course I do…because He does.

My home is stirring awake now. A waft of coffee, a hint of hurry. The clock reads later than I’d thought. Time to go. The lists awaits.

Tomorrow I’ll come again. To hush… to listen… to let go… to gather wisdom to be who I really am and courage to do what I otherwise wouldn’t.

From my heart,

Diane

Want more? Read Esther’s story and then flip over to Matthew, chapter five to hear more about listening and living and loving His way.